So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
