I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
