never play flip cup with pint glasses
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Randomize
