I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
