are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
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