I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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