no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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