I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
