who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
