she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
