I am puke
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
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The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
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