you're like a bully in the Christmas story
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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