I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Randomize
