I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
I'm really into asian looking animals
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
last night I used snow as a chaser
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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