I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
