Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
