What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
