why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
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