yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
