Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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