How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
not ubering you a puppy
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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