I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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