as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
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