he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
