I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
