I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
