I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
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Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
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Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
You ruined the universe
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.