Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(706): View more from Georgia

So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.

(404): View more from Georgia

I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?

(706): View more from Georgia

Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.

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(706): So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator. (404): I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer? (706): Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out. http://tfl.nu/p10m

Replies (29) Good night (894) Bad night (2046)
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(641): View more from Iowa

I met the friendliest cop last night

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(641): I met the friendliest cop last night http://tfl.nu/2xxe

Replies (12) Good night (4423) Bad night (843)
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(916): View more from California

How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.

(1-916): View more from California

Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.

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(916): How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids. (1-916): Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions. http://tfl.nu/28ax

Replies (27) Good night (3937) Bad night (1114)
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(678): View more from Georgia

All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?

(404): View more from Georgia

You mean bread?

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(678): All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast? (404): You mean bread? http://tfl.nu/0bp8

Replies (60) Good night (17182) Bad night (1446)
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(618): View more from Illinois

Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.

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(618): Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman. http://tfl.nu/awok

Replies (12) Good night (2508) Bad night (842)
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(817): View more from Texas

I really wanna talk..

(1-817): View more from Texas

if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down

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(817): I really wanna talk.. (1-817): if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down http://tfl.nu/qj3j

Replies (82) Good night (7875) Bad night (895)
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(940): View more from Texas

Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night

(1-940): View more from Texas

I don't have a cat..?

(940): View more from Texas

Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.

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(940): Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night (1-940): I don't have a cat..? (940): Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge. http://tfl.nu/uym0

Replies (13) Good night (1552) Bad night (5176)
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(516): View more from New York

i have one question about last night

(646): View more from New York

if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain

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(516): i have one question about last night (646): if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain http://tfl.nu/69sr

Replies (4) Good night (4293) Bad night (864)
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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!

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(814): My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween! http://tfl.nu/sc01

Replies (14) Good night (2242) Bad night (576)
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(219): View more from Indiana

The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.

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(219): The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair. http://tfl.nu/a313

Replies (2) Good night (833) Bad night (1618)
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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".

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(610): Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember". http://tfl.nu/q5o1

Replies (4) Good night (1984) Bad night (457)
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(206): View more from Washington

when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.

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(206): when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other. http://tfl.nu/no1k

Replies (9) Good night (1721) Bad night (588)
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(617): View more from Massachusetts

I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?

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(617): I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went? http://tfl.nu/d06s

Replies (4) Good night (522) Bad night (952)
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(913): View more from Kansas

Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?

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(913): Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk? http://tfl.nu/ufjz

Replies (6) Good night (852) Bad night (316)
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(317): View more from Indiana

Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity

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(317): Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity http://tfl.nu/wsrq

Replies (0) Good night (337) Bad night (194)

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