i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
10 Things Your Gyno Wants You To Stop Doing To Your Vagina
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
For Some Reason, Boys Are Singing The ‘Halo’ Theme Song In School Bathrooms
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
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