the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.