Texts From Last Night

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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.

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  (412): Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with. http://tfl.nu/nobk
  Replies (8) Good night (2827) Bad night (591)
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis

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  (781): Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis http://tfl.nu/4nxt
  Replies (22) Good night (3836) Bad night (695)
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  (250): View more from British Columbia

  she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.

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  (250): she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying. http://tfl.nu/nbti
  Replies (19) Good night (1061) Bad night (4021)
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  (778): View more from British Columbia

  we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever

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  (778): we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever http://tfl.nu/5buf
  Replies (8) Good night (4106) Bad night (883)
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..

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  (613): so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward.. http://tfl.nu/92jg
  Replies (19) Good night (4619) Bad night (1286)
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  (225): View more from Louisiana

  it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes

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  (225): it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes http://tfl.nu/e457
  Replies (8) Good night (2539) Bad night (1215)
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  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.

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  (918): I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains. http://tfl.nu/wys7
  Replies (7) Good night (2509) Bad night (780)
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  (954): View more from Florida

  You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.

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  (954): You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself. http://tfl.nu/qx75
  Replies (6) Good night (966) Bad night (3128)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet

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  (480): I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet http://tfl.nu/9wvg
  Replies (3) Good night (4023) Bad night (809)
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  (914): View more from New York

  I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.

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  (914): I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me. http://tfl.nu/p01s
  Replies (1) Good night (1698) Bad night (519)
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  (507): View more from Minnesota

  Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.

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  (507): Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization. http://tfl.nu/k6sn
  Replies (5) Good night (1476) Bad night (493)
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  (256): View more from Alabama

  It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??

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  (256): It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican?? http://tfl.nu/zvoh
  Replies (1) Good night (630) Bad night (252)
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  (320): View more from Minnesota

  Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs

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  (320): Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs http://tfl.nu/s3ur
  Replies (4) Good night (443) Bad night (343)
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  (518): View more from New York

  Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.

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  (518): Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus. http://tfl.nu/2yyd
  Replies (1) Good night (736) Bad night (245)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.

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  (978): Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup. http://tfl.nu/pt6l
  Replies (3) Good night (820) Bad night (278)

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