Porn is love you can see.
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker