I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.