honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Randomize
