2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Bang-toberfest begins!!
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
