Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
