True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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