96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
