I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
