Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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