I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
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