you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
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Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
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can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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