I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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