guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I wish they made helmets for livers.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
