We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
handjob tips. give me some.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
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