Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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