Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
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The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
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