oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
