Don't make out with my wife yet
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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