Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
