dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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