So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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