I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
it's like iHOP with fire
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
