What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Randomize
