She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Randomize
