could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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