My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Randomize