No, you can still breathe under the balls.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
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No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
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He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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