i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
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