dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
We're too hungover to prance.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Randomize
