There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
