:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Less talking, more tequila
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize
