Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize