when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
