We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Randomize
