bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
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