i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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