Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
