Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
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