I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
