I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
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