I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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