and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Randomize
