i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Randomize
