You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
30 People Reveal The Moment They Realized: ‘Oh Sh*t, I’m An A**hole’
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
30 Tiny Celebrity Tattoos You’ll Want To Run Out And Copy ASAP
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.