there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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