something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
