I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
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